Have i ... "deluded" myself into thinking i'm a ""? (this is a really long question!)?

If you don't have ual thoughts or feelings toward other females then you are probably not . Having feelings towards your girlfriends is normal, I love my girlfriends as friends of course, but we tell each other everything so it's a bond between two people, just not ual. I think you being nervous around boys shows that you do like them, but just too shy to know what to do around them. You sound young, give yourself time, things will fall into place.